Wednesday 'Why': Utah, Weirdos, and Reality TV

So... if you don't watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette, you probably won't care to read this post... but you probably should anyway. Maybe.

Today's Wednesday 'Why' is a little different, in that I haven't been able to come up with any acceptable answer. Feel free to let me know what YOU think.

The new season of The Bachelorette Premiered on Monday and promises to be as entertaining as ever, but after watching the episode, I was left wondering:

Why are all of the most ridiculous and hateable contestants on The Bachelor/ette from Utah?!

Technically, I'm only talking the last two seasons... but I feel like this is an unfortunate and somewhat disgracing trend for the majority of Utahns (aka those of us who are NOT crazy). 

Exhibit A:

Michelle 

Bachelor Season 15: Brad Womack

Michelle was--by far-- the most ridiculous contestant last season. A hairstylist from Salt Lake City, She was super obnoxious, weirdly possessive of Brad from the very beginning, and just... well, psycho. At one point in the season, she woke up one morning with a black eye, claiming to not have any idea how it happened. Creepy. I'm thinking that some of the crazy can be chalked up to editing, since she seemed fairly normal in the 'Women Tell All' episode... and it has been rumored that she was hired as an actress to be scary-psycho, but regardless of whether or not that is true, I don't think I'll ever be able to bring myself to see the movie she starred in recently (Midway to Heaven). 

Exhibit B:

Bentley 

Bachelorette Season 7: Ashley Hebert

We've only just been introduced to this piece of work, but it didn't take much to discover that Bentley has dirt bag potential. Apparently, Ashley received a call from a 'friend' (most likely Michelle) warning her that his fellow was only coming on the show to promote his career... or something. While I wouldn't normally take a proven psychopath's word, it only took the first episode to realize that Bentley is pretty much an A-hole. Here's the kicker-- Even after being warned about Bentley's sleeze-ball potential, Ashley STILL opted to give him a rose. I guess it wouldn't have suited to send this season's villain packing after only one night... but it's still enough to make me shake a fist at her. 

I realize that reality TV hardly attracts the cream of the crop, but back-to-back seasons featuring less-than-stellar Utahn contestants? Oy vey. Not exactly the image Utah wants to portray. (Unintentional rhyme) I am officially submitting my application to appear on the next Bachelor season to show the world that we don't breed weirdos here... 

"Hooded Weirdos"

... or not. 

Happy Wednesday!

-Once upon a time, I was going to post my thoughts on season finales. It hasn't happened yet. (Obviously) It may or may not still happen.-

Why I didn't do a Wednesday Why

I couldn't really come up with anything good for my 'Wednesday Why' because I was having Season Finale overload (more on that in a later post... tomorrow... maybe.) 

Anyhoo...To make up for slacking off, here is probably the cutest video you will ever see, compliments of Elder Nathan in Africa: 

Seriously... what could be better than that?! 

Happy Wednesday.

Stephanie At the Dentist

I've always hated the dentist. (Not the nice man, himself... I've had pretty ok dentists over the years) REPHRASE: I've always hated going to the dentist. Mostly because the hygienist would judge me for not flossing, and then as punishment for not flossing, She would play a little game called 'how bad can we make Stephanie's gums bleed by jamming floss up in there.' (NOT a fun game) Anyway, I digress. The point is, I don't hate the dentist anymore. I actually don't mind going at all. Perhaps I just grew up and accepted that it was going to happen every 6 months whether I wanted it to or not, or possibly this dentist's office is 31687354368 times better than any of the others. 

Until today. 

I had to go in this morning to have a cavity filled (my first in probably 6 years. No joke.) Naturally, I was a little nervous. It had been a while and I couldn't remember what to expect, but I was surprisingly ok not only with going back into the office for a second time this month, but also with an 8 am appointment. (I know, right?)

So... they take me back, and the hygienist asks me if I'd like to watch tv while they worked on me. 

me: Sure!

her: What channel would you prefer?

me: Oh, anything is fine. I'm hardly ever up this early so I don't even know what's on.

her: 2? 4? 5?

me: Let's go with 2.

BAD DECISION, STEPHANIE. You'll never guess that the guest on The Early Show this morning was none other than:

 our beloved President (or something), Obama-rama. So here I am, at the DENTIST, at 8 in the morning, watching OBAMA... on mute. (It gets worse) 

-Note: I think his public speaking skills are lacking. He has an awkward cadence and seems to stumble over his words a lot of the time. I realize not everyone will agree, but I don't enjoy hearing him speak. Or watching him speak while muted.

Dr. Dentist then comes in and sticks a big needle in my gums. Multiple times. As he does so, you'll never guess what is playing on the radio... none other than my favorite cat-faced artist (sarcasm... minus the cat-face part. That's true)

Taylor Swift. (For anyone who doesn't know, I'm like the anti-fan of Taylor Swift. She looks like a malnourished cat, and she sings hella whiny songs)

RECAP: I was at the DENTIST... at 8 in the MORNING... watching OBAMA on mute... and listening to TAYLOR SWIFT whine on the radio... with a big NEEDLE being shoved into my gums. 

To top it all off, I was able to feel much of the drilling despite the best efforts of my friend, Novocaine.

Luckily, the drilling only lasted like 2 minutes, and I was out the door on my way home within 30. I still like this dentist and his office. They are super efficient and friendly. After all, it isn't really their fault that I chose channel 2, or that Obama is even more obnoxious when muted and dubbed over with a cat-faced celebrity singing whiny teenage songs... and I could have said something about the drilling, but it wasn't that bad. 

...but I AM really glad it's over. See you in October, Dr. Dentist. 

Wednesday Why: Why I Love Free Theater Tickets

Note: I think I did a pretty excellent job writing this post without including any spoilers... just in case someone still wants to see either work discussed. Go Me.

I'd been hearing advertisements on the radio for this musical for quite a while:

I didn't know anything about it, except that it had to do with Hollywood, the music had been written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, and it was playing at Pioneer Theater. I love Hollywood, I  love the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, and I love Pioneer Theater, so naturally I wanted to see it. My dad had mentioned that he had seen it in New York and didn't like it, but I still thought I might enjoy it if I could somehow come up with the cash to go.

 Luckily for me, Megan's grandparents found themselves unable to use their tickets to the Monday night show, and so I got to go with her. I'll rarely say no to anything free, but in this particular case, this is why I love free theater tickets:

If the show isn't worth the money, you don't have to feel buyer's remorse.

I can definitely say that Sunset Boulevard was worth what I paid. (Just in case you forgot already... the tickets were free) The story seems promising when you read the synopsis:

"Based on the 1950 film of the same title, the plot revolves around Norma Desmond, a faded star of the silent screen era, living in the past in her decaying mansion on the fabled Los Angeles street. When young screenwriter Joe Gillis accidentally crosses her path, she sees in him an opportunity to make her comeback to the big screen. Romance and tragedy follow."

-Courtesy of Wikipedia... the greatest source of 

possibly true information ever-

Romance? Yes. Tragedy? Absolutely. But what they fail to mention is that most of the romance is anything but romantic (in fact, it's a little creepy. Or a lot.) and the tragedy is that you sat through the entire thing. I'd rather read the synopsis than actually see the show.


Ok. It wasn't THAT bad. The music was actually fantastic and the actors were incredibly talented. It really was just the story that disturbed me. Some of the characters and relationships seemed super under-developed where I thought that they could have been explored a little more fully. Some of the relationships just never should have happened because they kind of gave me nightmares. Speaking of nightmares, Norma Desmond (main-character and certifiable loon) looked like this:

No joke. I'm pretty sure Ysma was Norma Desmond in a pre-animated life. Overall, I can honestly say I would never pay money to see this show... but I was happy to be disappointed in and slightly creeped out by it for free.


Speaking of disappointment...  I saw Something Borrowed last night. I've been waiting WEEKS for a good chick-flick movie (because there has been an incredible lack of good chick movies at the theaters lately) and all my hopes were shattered in this one. Maybe it was just leftover disappointment from the theater the day before, or maybe I expected too much, but I really REALLY didn't like how it ended. Now I must get my hands on the book and see if it has anything better to offer, or at least a little more detail as to why it ended the way it did. 


In other news... my birthday is this Friday! Here's to hoping that all this disappointment doesn't make it to the weekend. 

Food + Family + Fone Calls + Fapresents= Fantastic Famother's Day.

Been trying to come up with a real blog title... Unfortunately, after spending an unspecified amount of time (because I would be embarrassed to admit how long I spent thinking about it instead of doing anything that was most likely more important) the best I could come up with was 'Blaarrrgghh', which is pretty much just a manifestation of my frustration with not having any ideas.

... It does kind of sound like an ogre trying to say 'blog' though...

I think I like it. For now.

Moving on. This post comes to you in ONE part.

Part One: Mother's Day. Mother's Day was great, mostly because I have the best mom in the world, but also because all of my siblings that are currently residing in this country were able to come spend the day. Here are some highlights:

Highlight #1: Cole and Chris made dinner. We had the BEST grilled chicken, cheese tortellini, caesar salad, and garlic bread EVER. Not only did it taste great, it was nice for mom and my sisters to have a break from the kitchen on their special day.

Highlight #2: Presents. This year, my siblings and I got my mom something I knew she wanted to have:

Her very own copy of the 1998 Eighth Edition of Mosby's GenRx: The Complete Reference for Generic and Brand Drugs/! ... Now, I know what you're thinking ("Um...what would ANYONE want with a stupid old drug book?!) Come on, guys, Don't judge a book by it's cover. It's what's inside that counts:

We knew she wanted Season five of Bones, but I figured that just wrapping it would be boring, and I didn't want her to be able to look at the size and shape of the package and know it was a DVD, so after a quick trip to the local DI to find the biggest and most obscure book they had, 2 dollars, and a box knife, I was able to turn a somewhat boring gift into a pretty good laugh. It was priceless to see the look on her face as she tried to figure out if it was some sort of joke without offending any of us or admitting she didn't get it. 

And what's a good present without a good card? (Before I show you the card I ended up with, let me just take a moment to acknowledge the complete lack of good greeting cards these days... and by 'good' I mean cards that aren't mushy, cheesy, touchy-feely, and/or rhyming. I looked in more than one place and only found TWO acceptable mother's day cards. And those two were nearly 5 bucks each. Ridiculous. So, naturally I opted to make my own...)

-Front-

-inside-

... That's seriously the cheapest ass I've ever seen. It doesn't get much better than 75% off. Ok, I admit that I didn't come up with that on my own. I borrowed the idea from one of the two acceptable cards I found in the store... but my card was a billion times better... and it didn't cost me anything. 

Highlight #3 and #4: Missionary Phone Calls. Talking to the Elders Kenner is always something I look forward to on Mother's Day and Christmas. This time, it was even more exciting than usual. With Nathan, it was because it was the last phone call we get with him before he comes HOME!! I can't even believe it's already been nearly 2 years and I can't wait to see him again (even though he refuses to be reminded of how soon his time in Africa will be up) I miss him so much! He may not be counting the days... but I sure am! 

For Daniel, it was because of this: 

Not only did we get to TALK to him, we were able to SEE him!!! I'd never really used Skype before, but I am definitely a fan. Dan was able to see how much Lucas and Kyle have grown, as well as his newest nephew, Jack. I was able to watch him nearly pee his trousers with laughter when I showed him my brilliant mother's day card and when I reminded him of a heated argument over whether or not a certain someone was able to bench-press an elephant:

But most importantly, we were able to make faces at each other. Seriously... I didn't have much to say, but we spent a good amount of time pulling faces... Proof?

-The Dan we all know and love-

-and again... best.face.ever.-

-and again-

-aaaaaand... again.-

Oh man. I miss him, too. The only thing better than having a brother on a mission... is having TWO!  

I guess the day can be summed up in a simple 'F' word equation: 

Food + Family + Fone calls + Fapresents = FANTASTIC Famother's day. 

(Also, a shout out to Megan for taking my Sunday shift at work so I could participate in these festivities. You're the best.)

Wednesday 'Why': Why haven't I seen this movie before now?!

(Note: This was NOT my original Wednesday 'Why' question. Ah, spontaneity.)

 Brooke, Megan and I made plans yesterday to see this:

and it was excellent. Not kidding. I loved it. However, Probably the best part of the movie was when I stepped up to the ticket counter and said, "One ticket to Prom, please" and then immediately followed up my request with "Awww... I just bought a ticket to Prom! Flashback!" 

Um...Yeah. I totally said that. 

Luckily, ticket counter guy laughed instead of telling me I was a moron, so I didn't feel as ridiculous. Brooke and Megan also laughed, but they should be used to me by now. Anyway, as I said before, the movie was excellent, filled with typical teenage angst over a small shed on the school property burning down whilst containing ALL the decorations for Prom and therefore threatening to RUIN the most important night in the life of all 17 year olds... among other things. I'll take a moment to point out that I love teenage angst movies. Especially when Disney is involved. And I am not afraid to admit it. Nor am I being sarcastic. Seriously. I don't ever remember romanticizing prom night to the extent that the characters do, but I found myself feeling nostalgic for a time when my biggest worry was what to wear to a dance and who to go with. Ok, I don't think those things were ever my biggest worry, but it's nice to remind myself that high school was great. And also that I don't miss it. At all. 

But that wasn't the movie to which I was referring in my 'Why' question. 

Prom got out just before 10, and none of us were ready to go home, so we immediately decided to choose another movie to see. (NOTE: Tuesdays at the movie theater are only $6.25 all day long, so two movies are only slightly more expensive than one movie on any other day.) We went back to the ticket counter and bought tickets to this:

Naturally, we purchased these tickets from the same ticket counter guy as before, who smiled and shook his head a little asking how our first movie was, but probably thinking 'These girls are ridiculous. Especially the one who made that crack about prom tickets earlier.' Anyway, THIS is where I ask the question:

Why Haven't I Seen This Movie Before Now?!

Weeks ago, my brother and his wife had said to me 'We saw Arthur last night and it was HILARIOUSLY amazing!' (Theyprobablydidn'tsay'hilariouslyamazing') I'd completely forgotten about it until last night. I'm not a huge fan of Russell Brand, but I love Helen Mirren, so I went in to it a little skeptical.

Oh.My.Goodness. I laughed so hard that I was in serious danger of wetting my brand new pair of Eddie Bauer Curvy Fit Bootcut Jeans. To hear Helen Mirren say 'Wash your winky' while wearing a Darth Vader voice-changing helmet was well worth my $6.25, and there were many more laughable moments throughout the entire film.

 Go.See.This.Movie.